Its 12.07pm. The alarm is ringing. For the third time. Its time to make breakfast and start my day, World Cup-style.
Non-existent hygiene.
As you can see above, I did not acknowledge the need to brush teeth, shower or even masturbate. At the most, I’ll buss a morning shit to make sure that the World Cup is not interrupted. I don’t need to look/smell good to watch football in the comfort of my own home.
Lack of exercise.
I’m actually meant to be getting fit at the moment. Increasing my stamina, converting the fat into muscle and all of that. Instead, I am watching men do this, as I eat junk.
Back the beard.
If you’ve been watching James Corden’s World Cup Live on ITV, then you’ll understand exactly what this is. For the peasants of you that have not, this campaign is a vow to not shave your beard to back England’s campaign. So basically I won’t be shaving until England go out…to be honest, I won’t be shaving until someone wins, I’m not leaving the house until the World Cup has been won(unless it to watch a match at a friend’s or in a pub).
I ignore communication.
Telephone calls, text messages, BBM, if I get even the smallest sniff that you are not communicating with me concerning the World Cup, you are not worth the communication. Call back post-July 11th. Thank you.
Ruining potential relationships.
So pretty much any and every woman is under fire if she tries to disturb me during the World Cup and even worse is when she tries to talk about it but doesn’t really know what she’s talking about. Don’t try to impress me. It won’t work. ‘The one’ will still love me even if I treat her like shit during the World Cup.
Work?!
I should be working. But I’m not. And will not until after July 11th. I should be depressed about my financial situation and outside of footballing hours it creeps into my mind…So I turn on FIFA 10 to forget about this (FIFA World Cup 2010 should be coming in the post tomorrow morning).
Losing and winning bets
As I’m not working while the World Cup is on, I must earn money somehow…I will let you know how this went once the World Cup is over. Time for the highlights, toodles.
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